a boy i dated like two years ago just posted a status on facebook about how much he loves his girlfriend but last night he messaged me saying he misses me and if he ever got the chance he wouldnt hesitate to try and kiss me again and i have all the screenshots of that conversation that i am fully capable of sending to his girlfriend i have this kid right by the balls and i am holding the screenshots for the ransom of 25 taco bell chalupas
a guy i know was dating this girl called kate and on their two year anniversary they like went for a picnic and it was super cute and romantic but his friends thought itd be funny to prank him by hiring a skywriter to write ‘will you marry me kate?’ in the sky and so they did and she saw it and he thought it’d be too awkward to say it actually wasnt for her so he didnt say anything and now theyre married and he still hasnt told her
i hate the neologism “partner” for “person i’m dating”. i have no intention of being a cowboy and nobody will ever be a cowboy to me.
speak for yourself, slim. some of us cowpoke are lookin’ for the right partner to call our own… [twangs acoustic guitar softly as i stare towards the twinkling night sky] don’t see many of them stars where you’re from, eh, city boy? nah. didn’t think so.
Soulja Boy should have “Danny Boy” played at his funeral except change it to “Oh, Soulja boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling”, he has an excellent opportunity here and if he doesn’t take it I will be so miffed.